Sunday, June 24, 2012

Soul Mate Sunday ~ No Wimps or Jerks Need Apply

According to some sources, a soul mate is someone who shares one's interests and values and is agreeable and supportive. There's certainly nothing wrong with that.

As a creative spirit, I need someone who not only does not suppress or stifle my creativity, but who would never dream of doing so.

However, I believe for long term success in any relationship, I also need someone who will be honest, strong, mature, and secure enough to call me on my bullshit. Yes, you heard me right!

While I do not need some obnoxious jerk in my life, neither do I want some wimpy yes man. The secret, of course, lies not only in what a man says, but how he says it, when, where, and why.

A man who is not afraid to speak his mind, share his truth and himself with me, and risk my wrath is well worth my time and trouble. This is a man who cares and is intelligent enough to actually communicate.

His courage and honesty assures me that he is there for the duration and there because he wants to be with me. His caring enough to stand up to me also shows me that he has taken the time to know me, and to say what he feels he need to with the confidence that I will respect him for it. If he knows me well enough, we may both even laugh about it.

It also encourages me to open up and trust him more and to reveal and yield more of myself to him and to the relationship. 

Men who are too readily agreeable with everything I say and do are a red flag for me. Upon consideration, I have to wonder if they are truly listening and understanding me or just rushing to play nice for some ulterior motive. This is insulting, in that they think I am some dumb blonde who can be flattered into their beds or manipulated out of my hard earned money. Not likely Bubba!

Even worse are those who seem uber agreeable out of apparent apathy. They don't seem to care enough to question or call my bluff on anything. I call them zombie dates. They walk and talk, but have no apparent spirit or passion.

While I certainly don't want an argumentative and churlish brute that never sees or appreciates the good in me, neither do I desire some phony or tentative partner to share my life and love.

Politeness and courtesy are a part of me, but I walk on eggshells for no man. Neither do I want or expect a man to behave that way with me. 

Life is too short not to live honestly, sincerely, and with passion. 

Have I said that already? Well, it's still true!

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