How to tell when your partner in lust just ain’t right.
She Just Ain’t Right
When she asks if you want a hot oil massage, and then gets
the pot of grease off the stove, she just ain’t right
When you ask if she is good at licking and sucking, she
takes out a Tootsie Pop, and says, “Just watch,” she just ain’t right
When she has to take her teeth out to give you head, she
just ain’t right
When she spits instead of swallows, she just ain’t right
When she says “I want to blow you,” and then starts blowing
in your ear, she just ain’t right
When she asks you if you want to play in the bath, then
hands you a rubber duck, she just ain’t right
When she says she can’t wait to ride you, and then she jumps
on your back and says, “Giddy up,” she just ain’t right
When she offers to shave you and says, “Spread your legs,”
while holding a straight razor, she just ain’t right
When she doesn’t want to have a ménage with Clay and Blade
from Trust Us, she just ain’t right
He Just Ain’t Right
When you hand him a condom and he says, “Oh a balloon and
tries to blow it up,” he just ain’t right
When he brings the whole chicken to bed instead just a
feather, he just ain’t right
When you hand him the chocolate syrup and he drinks it out
of the bottle, he just ain’t right
When you ask for anal and he gives you a glycerin suppository,
he just ain’t right
When you ask him if he has any toys and he shows you his G.
I. Joe collection, he just ain’t right
When you tell him you like from behind, and he puts his back
against yours and says, “How’s this supposed to work,” he just ain’t right
When he comes home and you’re standing there naked and he
asks, “What’s for dinner,” he just ain’t right
When he ask you to remove your edible underwear so he can
eat it, he just ain’t right
When he says he has a cool place to have sex, and then you
find out he means the meat locker at work, he just ain’t right
