There is more to an M/s and D/s relationship than having hot
and kinky sex. Most Masters and Doms require a sub to adhere to some type of protocol
or rules. There are also different occasions of lifestyle activities that all
have their own standards of behavior. Failure to abide by the accepted decorum can
result in punishment.
This is something that should be discussed between Doms and
subs, so that both know what is expected. It is up to the Dominant to set the
standards, and ensure that they are followed. By the same token, it is the
submissives's responsibility to ask for clarification of anything they do not
understand. This does not mean they question the rules, but rather ask exactly
how they are to behave or respond, so that they may avoid being disrespectful
and disobedient.
For instance, not all Dominants like being addressed as
Master or Sir. It is extremely important for a Dominant to convey the title or
name they prefer. Submissives should be cautioned about calling all Dominants
Master, Sir, Lord, or something similar.
Under no circumstances, should a Dominant be addressed as “dude,
bubba, hey you,” or other similar terms which might be said in jest, but which
show ignorance and disregard for their own roles and that of the Dominants with
whom they interact. Submissives that do not take this seriously or do not
comply with their Dom's wishes in this regard show a lack of respect and lack
of commitment to the relationship.
Those who are owned and/or controlled by a Dominant should
defer to that Domniant's wishes as to how to address others. Depending on the
situation, a submissive who is single or unclaimed should ask the Dominant with
whom they are interacting how they wish to be addressed.
Minding one’s manners can smooth the way for Dominants and
submissives and can show the difference between those who take living the
lifestyle seriously and those for whom it is merely a fantasy or a game.
For those who might be unsure or having a difficult time thinking outside the box; think of it as a 1950's household.
ReplyDeleteThis, in no way, is the kind of example that demeans submissive or forces them to leave their intelligence at the door, it simply gives you a bases for what Heaven is saying - proper protocols are very much based like the manners of a 50s household where guests are treated with respect and not just told "there's the fridge, help yourself."
Yes, what Jennifer said, is true. As romance writers, sometimes fiction overshadows the facts. That's why I started writing this blog series to educate those who might be wanting more information on the lifestyle.
ReplyDeletePersonally, if I am to be a submissive to a Dominant, he must respect me, my limits, and my intelligence.
Now, there are submissives that do enjoy being demeaned, more on that in Friday's post as my guest author has a new release on the subject.