It has come to my attention that many men seem to feel that just because they want to boss or control someone, this makes them Dominant. When these same people find a submissive desperate and innocent enough to surrender their mind, heart, and body to them, these fellows are truly convinced they must indeed be Masters. Right? Ah, no, Bubba. Unfortunately, many have yet to Master themselves before seeking to rule someone else's life.
A submissive entrusts everything to a Dominant in the belief and hope that he will have her safety and best interest as a priority. She trusts that he will be mature and intelligent enough to make wise choices and decisions for them both as individuals and as a couple.
While one should not expect perfection from another, and misunderstandings and mistakes are inevitable, the submissive is in a very vulnerable position and has every right to expect humane treatment and conscientious attention to details of the relationship. Her physical and mental health is at stake.
When a Dominant has expended time and effort to Master himself physically, mentally, and emotionally, the formidable task of being responsible for another's life is much smoother, simpler, and stress free for both parties.
A Dominant who over indulges in or misuses food, alcohol, illegal or prescription drugs, or one who embraces a sedentary lifestyle has not yet mastered himself physically. He is probably less likely to have the strength or stamina required for day to day life, much less the intensity of BDSM play. Such a Dom is simply not bringing his best self into the relationship.
Dominants who think they already know it all and have nothing to learn, especially from a submissive, are not only dangerously ignorant and over confident, but they deny themselves and their relationships the potential to grow and flourish. What intelligent and vibrant submissive wants a mentally stagnant dotard?
Demanding, arrogant, and overbearing Dominants who have no respect for a submissive's needs and limits, and who brag that they have hot tempers are walking, talking time bombs. These are men who are always quick to judge and to blame others for their own mistakes. They are like spoiled little boys who lack the tools to deal with their own emotions or care about another's emotional needs. D/s and M/s relationships require emotional maturity and stability from both parties to be safe and successful, especially in a long term sense.
A submissive has responsibilities within a relationship, but the Dominant is always the controlling partner. It can be an awesome challenge and adventure for the right man who has sought to master himself first.