Elephant to Camel: "How come you have two huge balls on your back?"
Camel to Elephant: "This from the dude who has a giant penis on his face
When a famous actress was asked how she conveyed such spontaneous genuine emotion in her roles she replied. "When I need to cry in a scene, I think of my sex life. When the script calls for a laugh, I think of my sex life."
Young and horny trophy wife to her much older husband: "Let's go upstairs and make love."
Old man to young wife: "Pick one. I can't do both."
A farmer needed to purchase supplies in town and confessed his problem of getting things home to the man at the general store.
The farmer's purchases consisted of a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose.
The shopkeeper smiled and said. "No problem. Put the anvil in the bucket and carry that in one hand. Put one chicken under each arm. Carry the goose with the other hand.
The farmer did this and all went well for quite a while. As he went on his way, an older lady approached him to ask directions. Since the address was the farm next to his, and he passed it on the way to his home, he told her to follow him.
As he proceeded to take his usual short cut through the woods, the old lady said. "Wait! How do I know you won't take advantage of a poor lonely widow like me?"
He replied that his hands were full, so that was impossible.
The old lady then answered." Not if you put the goose down, put the bucket over him, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and let me hold the chickens."
Did you hear about the nudist couple who got a divorce?
Seems they were seeing too much of each other.
Husband to wife: "Let's do 68 tonight."
Wife: "Ok, but what's that?"
Husband: "You do me, and I'll owe ya one."
I hope at least one of these brought a smile to your face today.
We don't stop laughing when we get old.
We get old when we stop laughing.