Crying is Easy, Living is Hard
By Heaven O'Shey
Sometimes life throws us curve balls and tries to strike us out of the game. We can either swing away hoping we hit the ball or wait for right pitch. The decision is ours to make. I have been thrown a lot of curves and have managed to stay in the game. After scoring in one inning, the next was even harder to wait for the right pitch.
This is how life has been for me this year. Not the easiest of years, quite the opposite, but I persevered. The last few months have been the hardest. I just had a simple surgery that was supposed to clear up things, and then five days later I received the call. The news was devastating and everything seemed to blur for a few minutes. As the news sunk in, the tears began to fall. On the way home with one of the most unsupportive person in my life, I had to regain my composure.
Finally home, I called one of my dearest friends for support, I needed to talk to someone with knowledge and positive thinking. After that I began letting a few know, they were expecting the call. One of my family members ended up hearing the news before I could relay it in the fashion I knew they could comprehend. This person began to act like I did a terrible thing in not telling them first, and started all kinds of drama. So instead of being able to collect my thoughts and do research like I wanted to I had to deal with childishness of this person.
Later that night while lying in my bed contemplating the situation I was facing, my eyes watered up again. Yet, the tears didn’t fall this time. I scolded myself. I told myself, “Crying is easy. You have to fight this thing and you haven’t accomplished all the things you are meant to.”
The next morning, I got up with determination. Although, I still had to deal with the other person’s selfishness, I kept calm and did what I needed to do for myself. This person failed to realize they hadn’t really been there for me when I needed someone. This was the time I needed support and would reach out to the people I know would be there for me.
A few weeks later, another situation was revealed although, not as disturbing as the pervious news. I was expecting a good report, and was upset that I had another ordeal to face. As I sat alone thinking of all these life altering situations, the tears started to fall yet again. However, only for a few minutes did I allow myself to cry; afterwards I scolded myself and began to rationalize the situation.
Finally, I remembered one of my favorite sayings, “Everything happens for a reason.” If it wasn’t for the previous news the current one would have never been discovered and is just as dangerous as the first. I still have a few at bats left in the game, but I know I will score instead of striking out.
Yes, crying is easy, but not feeling sorry for oneself and get on with living is harder.
I would like to thank God and the people who supported me when I needed them.