Crying is Easy, Living is Hard
By Heaven O'Shey
Sometimes life throws us curve balls and tries to strike us
out of the game. We can either swing away hoping we hit the ball or wait for
right pitch. The decision is ours to make. I have been thrown a lot of curves
and have managed to stay in the game. After scoring in one inning, the next was
even harder to wait for the right pitch.
This is how life has been for me this year. Not the easiest
of years, quite the opposite, but I persevered. The last few months have been
the hardest. I just had a simple surgery that was supposed to clear up things, and
then five days later I received the call. The news was devastating and
everything seemed to blur for a few minutes. As the news sunk in, the tears
began to fall. On the way home with one of the most unsupportive person in my
life, I had to regain my composure.
Finally home, I called one of my dearest friends for
support, I needed to talk to someone with knowledge and positive thinking. After
that I began letting a few know, they were expecting the call. One of my family
members ended up hearing the news before I could relay it in the fashion I knew
they could comprehend. This person began to act like I did a terrible thing in
not telling them first, and started all kinds of drama. So instead of being
able to collect my thoughts and do research like I wanted to I had to deal with
childishness of this person.
Later that night while lying in my bed contemplating the
situation I was facing, my eyes watered up again. Yet, the tears didn’t fall
this time. I scolded myself. I told myself, “Crying is easy. You have to fight
this thing and you haven’t accomplished all the things you are meant to.”
The next morning, I got up with determination. Although, I
still had to deal with the other person’s selfishness, I kept calm and did what
I needed to do for myself. This person failed to realize they hadn’t really
been there for me when I needed someone. This was the time I needed support and
would reach out to the people I know would be there for me.
A few weeks later, another situation was revealed although,
not as disturbing as the pervious news. I was expecting a good report, and was
upset that I had another ordeal to face. As I sat alone thinking of all these
life altering situations, the tears started to fall yet again. However, only
for a few minutes did I allow myself to cry; afterwards I scolded myself and
began to rationalize the situation.
Finally, I remembered one of my favorite sayings, “Everything
happens for a reason.” If it wasn’t for the previous news the current one would
have never been discovered and is just as dangerous as the first. I still have
a few at bats left in the game, but I know I will score instead of striking
out.
Yes, crying is easy, but not feeling sorry for oneself and
get on with living is harder.
I would like to thank God and the people who supported me
when I needed them.
