Hump Day ~ Speaking of Sex

The many languages of sex is today's hump day theme. 

British: shag

Bulgarian: cexc

Catalan: sexe

Croatian: spol

Czech: sest

Dutch: seks

Estonia: sugu

Filipino: kasasian

Finnish: sukupuoli

French: sexe

Hindi: sambhog

Hungarian: szex

Irish: gneas

Icelandic: kynlif

Indonesian: seks

Italian: sesso

Latin: sexus

Latvian: dzimums

Lithuanian: lytis

Maltese: sess

Polish: seks

Portuguese: sexo

Russian: cekc

Spanish: seis

Swahili: ngono

Turkish: seks

Welsh: rhyw

Hump Day ~ Meaningless and Random Sex

Hump Day ~ Meaningless and Random Sex

by Heaven O'Shey

What makes a person want to engage in meaningless and random sex with a stranger? Is it because of a person’s looks? Their come ons? The thrill? The adventure? Wanting something strange?

Is having your itch scratch so important that you’ll do anyone and everyone? Even if the partner with whom you are having sex with, has absolutely nothing in common with you?

If someone approaches you for a one night stand, how would you feel? We are talking about someone who is not interested in you as a person or wants to have any kind of conversation. That person just wants you to go to their place and have a night of sex.

Why would a person risk contracting an STD, losing a significant other, being seen by a co-worker or family member, chance of pregnancy, and lowering one’s self for just a night of sex. Do you think a real relationship with someone you have taken the time to know be more meaningful and satisfying? 

Hump Day ~ Laughs

Elephant to Camel: "How come you have two huge balls on your back?"
Camel to Elephant: "This from the dude who has a giant penis on his face

When a famous actress was asked how she conveyed such spontaneous genuine emotion in her roles she replied. "When I need to cry in a scene, I think of my sex life. When the script calls for a laugh, I think of my sex life."

Young and horny trophy wife to her much older husband: "Let's go upstairs and make love."
Old man to young wife: "Pick one. I can't do both."

A farmer needed to purchase supplies in town and confessed his problem of getting things home to the man at the general store.
The farmer's purchases consisted of a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. 
The shopkeeper smiled and said. "No problem. Put the anvil in the bucket and carry that in one hand. Put one chicken under each arm. Carry the goose with the other hand.
The farmer did this and all went well for quite a while. As he went on his way, an older lady approached him to ask directions. Since the address was the farm next to his, and he passed it on the way to his home, he told her to follow him. 
As he proceeded to take his usual short cut through the woods, the old lady said. "Wait! How do I know you won't take advantage of a poor lonely widow like me?"
He replied that his hands were full, so that was impossible.
The old lady then answered." Not if you put the goose down, put the bucket over him, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and let me hold the chickens."

Did you hear about the nudist couple who got a divorce? 
Seems they were seeing too much of each other.

Husband to wife: "Let's do 68 tonight."
Wife: "Ok, but what's that?"
Husband: "You do me, and I'll owe ya one."

I hope at least one of these brought a smile to your face today. 
We don't stop laughing when we get old.
We get old when we stop laughing.

Hump Day ~ Love Is In The Air

It’s that time a year again, when the air is filled with love. Twice a year, late spring and late summer, in the Southern Gulf Coast and southeastern United States, hundreds of thousands of Lovebugs take flight.

The Lovebug is a small flying insect that takes to the air for four to five weeks. In this time mating begins almost immediately. The Lovebug can remain coupled for several days and even in flight. Neither adult males nor females live longer than a few days.

So if you are driving through the Gulf Coast during these times of the year and you see a large swarm of slow moving little black bugs, it is the migration of the Lovebug.

A helpful tip is to use dryer sheets to remove dead bugs off your vehicle. 

Hump Day ~ Buzz Kills

Bedtime turn offs that women do:

Taking a diuretic before bedtime

Going to bed with facial cream

Wearing flannel pajamas

Wearing curlers in hair

Neglecting to shave legs and underarms

Griping and bitching

Checking emails and posting on Facebook

Texting and talking on the phone

Saying, “Your mom called today.”

Informing him, as he cuddles up, “I’m on my period.”

Bedtime turn offs that men do:

Turning on the TV

Poor hygiene

Not shaving before bedtime

Going to bed drunk

Looking at a nudie magazine

Talking about exes

Eating in bed

Playing video games

Checking emails and posting on Facebook

Making flatulent noises

Hump Day ~ What You Don’t Want to Hear in Bed

Things Women Don’t Want to Hear

Having him say another woman’s name in the heat of passion.

Did you cum yet?

Was it good for you?

What do you have in the fridge to snack on?

I bought a new toy; I think this is how it works.

What do you mean not that hole?

Honey, I was going to wait until we were done to take a shower.

The game starts in 10 minutes can we be finished by then?

You want to do it?

Are you ready yet?

Things Men Don’t Want to Hear

Is it in yet?

Are you done yet?

Is that all you have?

I’m not doing that.

You want me to do what?

My momma was right about you.

I have to go home and recharge my vibe.

I shaved my legs for this.

Stop poking me, I'm not ready yet.

Just hold still while I get these cuffs on you.

Heaven O'Shey's Hump Day ~ Shey's New Adventure

Being an adventurous free spirit in my writings and life, friends often ask how I am able to live without inhibitions. Therefore, I decided I wanted to help teach women to free themselves and enjoy a walk on the wild side, at least in the bedroom. To accomplish this task, I joined Cloud 9 Parties.

In this capacity, I will lend my knowledge and expertise to groups of women when they get together for a night of fun and learning. Not only will I do this in person, but will also extend classes online though Skype.

Cloud 9 Parties offers a unique boutique style experience. Their product lines extend from spa, massage, lingerie and shapewear, nailfoils, heels, and even wigs. They are “Taking Romance To New Heights,” with intimacy enhancements such as: lotions and potions, lubricants, perfumes for men and women, and of course adult novelties. 

Whether you want to just add a little spice to your life or unleash your kinky side, Cloud 9 and I can help.

For more information on Cloud 9 products take a look at my site. You can also email me to set up a party or class with your friends.

Unleash Yourself!

Shey

Hump Day ~ A Slave Without A Master

A Slave Without A Master

by Shey

A servant is what i am

To friends, family, and strangers

Always helping

Always caring

Always giving

For it’s my nature

Unselfishly

Yet, i long to serve in ways

No one understands

To be the slave i was born to be

Not one without benefits

The One i will serve

Knows i serve with

Love and loyalty

With all that i am

All that i have to give

My heart, mind, and body

All for Him

My Master

As i wait for Him

Wondering if He knows

i am the one

He seeks

Am i not to know

The joys of being a slave

With a Master

Hump Day ~ Sex For Fossils

Sex For Fossils
By TC Worthington


Reading and editing erotic prose and poetry on a daily basis, it saddens, but does not really surprise me, that so little of it seems to apply to my generation.

Evidently we over sixty folk are assumed to be dried up old fossils for whom romance and sex are only fond but vague memories.


Brace yourselves. Such is not the case. Now, before you start going "Ewwwww!," let me remind you that you're not getting any younger either, and if you're lucky, you'll be in the over sixty crowd one day too. 

Stop rolling your eyes and hyperventilating! It's not that bad. Really.

Contrary to all the TV advertising, not all Seniors' lives revolve around dentures, diapers, and constipation. It's a fact.


Some of us still have smoldering embers of deire, which can burst into roaring flames with the right chemistry. Hey, I'm talking love connection here, not pharmaceuticals.
We might not be as agile as we once were, and this stage of life is generally not a good time to explore and experiment with the Kama Sutra unless one has a chiropractor on speed dial.


However, most of us are actually better in some ways than when we were younger. Sessions of all night passion give way to a more relaxed and plaful mode, which is no less pleasurable.


Both genders tend to be more patient, accepting, and honest and open regarding wants and needs. Both also tend to be more relaxed and creatively kinky without fears of pregnancy or little ones in the next room.


The mental, emotional, and spiritual elements which enhance physical intimacy are ripened, matured, and even better when one is on the home stretch. 

The brain or mind is the largest and most important sexual organ at any age. If it is still functional, the party is not over.


Don't believe me? Wait and see. 

Hump Day ~ My Boy by Domina Delectatio

The poem below is by an elusive female Dominant friend of a friend.
It extols her feelings for her younger submissive husband. 


My Boy
Domina Delectatio


Make no mistake
My boy is no
Wimp
Wuss
Sissy
Or
Simpleton


He is my
Chosen one
Strong
Smart
Lusty
Loving
Submissive to
The core


He is as
Unique as
A snowflake or
A fingerprint


His heart
Mind
Body
Soul
All freely given
All gifts I cherish


His love 
And energy
Brighten my day
Lighten my load
Make my heart sing


His welfare
His training
His discipline
His control
His reward
My awesome
Responsibility
My joy

Hump Day Memory ~ The Shirt

The Shirt
By Heaven O'Shey


Her soft fingers travel
Across his skin
Her lips caress his
She breathes his scent
So intoxicating
Masculine
Her fingers pull at the zipper
Needing to feel all of him
Her intense desire
Rules her
Too much time has passed
Since last they came together
Frustrated, the zipper sticks
It pinches her fingers
Her eyes open
Lying next to her 
A garment bag 
Containing the shirt
He left behind
Remembering laying it in the bed
The night before
Her tears fall
As her, heart breaks again

Hump Day ~ Going Deeper

Hump Day is a term, which usually describes the middle of the Monday through Friday workweek, hence getting over the hump.

However, it has taken on a more risqué and naughty meaning related to sex.

Terms such as humping, doing the horizontal tango, getting freaky, bumpin and grindin, hittin that, and other ones I won’t mention, are now seen and heard frequently. They are used to describe what used to be considered a special and intimate time. Now, it seems that true intimacy and connection between couples has been abandoned in favor of frantic and temporary groping and coupling.

True sensuality takes time, thought, and feeling from the heart and soul. It is not merely a matter of random and instant gratification. Reaching a level of genuine intimacy and sensuality entails going deeper.

Hump Day Snippets 6 ~ Double the Fun!

This week's hump day snippet comes from Sara B. Sara B. is a new writer of erotic romance, and this is her first tentative venture into the realm of menage. Double the Fun! Feeling wrapped and trapped in my sheets, I struggled to move as I tried to make myself wake up. Opening my eyes, I was startled to find myself gazing into the eyes of Brock, the pool boy. His hot, insistent body pressed closer, and his huge hands grasped both my breasts and tweaked the already turgid nipples with his thumbs. His lips moved swiftly to capture my moaning yelp, as his legs deftly and gently moved and spread my legs. Moving his hips, he made his bouncing hardness go between my spread legs. The rigid phallus moved up and down my slit, impatiently teasing, as if it had a mind of its own. My hips squirmed under his touch, and then I shuddered and panicked as I realized another set of hands was spreading my ass cheeks, and another hot, throbbing cock moved between my parted cheeks. Hot breath behind me and sharp quick bites on my neck made me struggle and push against both bodies until a soft, deep voice whispered in my ear, "Relax and enjoy. We are here to service and please you, and would never hurt you." Recognizing the voice of my gardener, Slade, I not only relaxed, but surrendered to the sensual caresses and kisses of the two hottest men I'd ever known. As they sensed my submission, Brock moved a hand from a breast to my clit, massaging it urgently with his thumb, while other fingers parted my swollen lips for his dripping cock. Meanwhile, Slade slid his throbbing shaft up and down my butt crack as his pre-cum moistened thumb gently massaged and pressed my anus. With his other hand, he reached around me and cupped, squeezed, and kneaded the breast abandoned by Brock. My scortching juices gushed forth and my pussy clenched and released in thunderous spasms. The sounds of my gasping screams were drowned out by the harsh and discordant clanging and ringing of my alarm clock. What? How?  Panting, flushed, and spent, I realized my night of ecstasy had been but a dream. Damn!

Hump Day Snippets 4 ~ Trust Us

This week's snippet comes from Trust Us, Love's Bayou Book 1.


Feeling his balls tighten, he wanted, no needed to cum. To reach the crescendo that had been denied much too long. Reaching down with his thumb finding her clit and gave it a rub. Her body writhe beneath him, whilst his cock sliding in and out of her silky sheath.
“Cum for me Bri.” Commanded Clay tapping her swollen clit sending her over.
Screaming his name, he watched her soar in ecstasy. Only then did he relinquish the control he had been tightly holding. 

Trust Us is the first in the Love's Bayou series. It has MFM, suspense, romance, a little light BDSM, and heavy on the erotic. Don’t let the cover fool you, Trust Us has an intriguing plot and hot sex.

A woman running from her past and the two Masters protecting her, even at the risk of losing her.

Amazon  Barnes & Noble

Hump Day Snippets ~ 2

This week’s snippet comes from Murals of Lust by Raavee and Shey. 


Shey is my naughty twin, she has given me permission to post this snippet. Her naughtiness really displayed in all its glory, in this book. The book is spicy hot and filled with lots of steamy instances to get you ready and scorching for hump day.



Perfect Ending to a Hectic Day
by Shey

He closes in on her backing her up against the wall. He pulls her close as He takes her lips in a passionate kiss as His hand cups her pussy. He unzips His pants freeing His hard cock as He lifts her up and plunges into her wetness. Ruthless in His strokes as He takes her mouth to muffle their cries of passion. 


Murals of Lust by Raavee and Shey


Murals of Lust is available at all of Amazon's sites and available in 3 languages, English, French, and Spanish. Amazon US

Murals of Lust is available at Barnes & Noble in English and Spanish. Barnes & Noble 

Hump Day Snippets

Liven up your Wednesday’s with Hump Day Snippets. You guessed it, the snippets are sex scenes from my published titles or works in progress. Come back every week and get your juices flowing.


Fucking her with his tongue, he felt her hips rising against his mouth. He didn’t tell her to keep still; this was an expedition to learn how she responded. However, her wanton body was playing hell with his control, and he had to rein it in fast so that he wouldn’t lose it in his jeans. 
Damn! 
He never had problems controlling his lust before Bri.

Today’s snippet is from Trust US, the first in the Love's Bayou series. It has MFM, suspense, romance, a little light BDSM, and heavy on the erotic. Don’t let the cover fool you, Trust Us has an intriguing plot and hot sex.

Amazon   Barnes & Noble