According to some recent blogs I have read on lifestyle sites, in the comment they have received, common sense is still not so common. There are still Doms and subs who toss all caution and logic aside when it comes to a potential BDSM relationship. The same people who would not hesitate to question and demands answers in a vanilla setting seem to feel awkward and intimidated when meeting someone in the lifestyle.
Some Doms scoff at a sub’s request for information, and imply that her lack of trust means she is not really submissive. Sadder still, some submissives believe this line of BS from a Dom wannabe.
Even if it is only a casual meeting for coffee in a public place and in the daytime, safety precautions should be openly discussed and agreed upon in advance.
A submissive can often tell a lot about a Dom’s character in his veracity by informing him upfront that she is checking his references. Whether she decides to do so or not, he is on notice that if there are discrepancies in what he told her, they will come to light. If he has something to hide, he can choose to come clean or bow out.
Any Dom unwilling to provide basic information, agree to precautions such as safe calls, and answer appropriate questions should raise a red flag to a sub. Real Doms will welcome interaction with an intelligent and responsible submissive.